Wednesday, February 27, 2013


You never know when someone needs a "hi". 

After about 22 auditions in the past three weeks, a few callbacks and a bunch of "No's" and "Thank You"'s, it begins to take a small toll on your mind and body. Especially if it's only 4'11". I began to feel a bit worn down, and just felt like I was running into a brick wall, not even able to make a crack or tiny indentation. 

Yesterday, I began to feel a rush of homesickness again, which I have calculated comes in increments of 2 weeks now, but used that as an excuse for being sad and mopey. I started to lose that tiny flicker inside of my heart and knew that if I didn't do anything about it soon, I would be in trouble. 

I got this in the mail today. 

It is a beautiful card filled with simple but everlasting words, an inspirational journal, and a book, "The story of Miss Saigon". 

"Big Jackie" and "Little Jackie"

Jackie Maraya-Griffin was my mentor in high school. For about two years, she gave me discounted voice lessons, taught me everything about my own talent and capabilities, influenced me to go to Cal State Fullerton, and is 95% the reason I do Musical Theatre. I didn't even know what a musical was until she taught me about it. One of my favorite memories of her lessons were, "YOU BETTER GET THICK SKIN GIRL!" 

 I look up to her in so many ways, more than she may even know. Jackie lives in Hawaii now, and is leading the way in curing her amazing son from Autism. Jackie and her husband speak through positivity, warmth, and are living, breathing examples of a pure loving family, built on the fundamentals of living life without expectation, and radiating with purpose. 

Receiving gifts has never been a big thing to me. I'm more of a gift giver, and prefer written letters over anything, anytime. 

But this gift could not have come at a more perfect time in my life. I felt my heart fill to the brim with inspiration and light. 

I cried a little bit, a small part of it stemming from the difficulties of this industry and life, and another portion of it: happiness, feeling like just when I felt so alone, I wasn't

Jackie, thank you for being a life-saver, again. Pushing me to follow my dreams and that in time, they will come true.

Finding little instances to inspire me and to live in positivity. 

What is my purpose? What is my calling? 
And when will this be worth it? 

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