Today I finished college. Again. Teehee.
Well, I suppose I technically, actually, for REALSIES finished today. Kinda anticlimactic, as per ere did I walk with my BFA class last year. Although, I hated knowing I had to come back, and then hated coming back, I think it was destiny for me to chill out for a few months, ground myself, and figure out what I need for my life.
I predicted this semester to be a lot easier than it was. I thought it was a sign to come back for certain reasons, however, the stars aligned in a direction I didn't see coming at all. I assisted with the choreography for Footloose, fell deep in love with learning American Sign Language, got my good ol' job back at the good ol' Starbucks, went to New York a few times, auditioned my fucking ass off, and now doing Spelling Bee. I finished school, and did it with trying to keep my heart, my mind, my soul and finances all in check.
As I reach the mid-point of 2011, I've come to realize (again) that I can be the creator of my own happiness. Duh, Jackie. But really, I have had a hard time with this, for the past five years, happiness is so rarely attainable, but when achieved, is magical. And that life is UN-PRE-FUCKING-DICTABLE. This time last year, I finished showcase in New York, packed my room in the BFA house, had finals, did my Cabaret, and awaited to wear my cap and gown to walk across that stage and be fucking done! So much has happened since that point of my life. Bad and good things. Great things. Terrible things. But shit happens. And so does life.
I've learned to love myself and that I can learn to love, because that's all I have to give. And will ever want to give. And I'm hella okay with being that way and not changing that part of who I am.
I will be opening my show soon, auditioning, and visiting Andrew in Canada in two weeks. So many exciting new adventures coming my way, and I forget to remind myself of how blessed I truly am. So I'm reminding myself now.
I'm also looking forward to making new summer memories with my family who is visiting in June. :)
Summer 2011, GET AT ME!