As a personal project for the month of May, I am writing a 3-part-blog about Hair.
I'll be writing updates on my hair loss disease, what life is like on the road with Hair das Musical, and lastly what it's like to have Alopecia whilst performing in the musical....Hair.
GROWTH! GROWTH! GROWTH!For the past four months, I have experienced a significant amount of growth. That's right! Hooray!
- a full pony tail
- blowdrying on a regular basis
- hair tickling my neck (squee!)
Alopecia is for life. There is no cure. No magic spells.
With this in mind, I understand that my growth could very well be temporary. That's just something I have to accept. My hair is now longer than a pixie cut and I'm beginning to find parts of my femininity again. It's incredible to feel warmth on my scalp again; to have something to shampoo. Oftentimes, I even forget I have Alopecia. There are days that feel normal again, well, as normal as can be while traveling in a hippie tribe around Europe. But still. More normal than before.
There are still some sucky parts. With growth, comes loss.
There still is one bald spot on my head that hasn't grown in since I was first diagnosed. Luckily, the other parts of my hair has grown long enough to cover this spot without notice. I'm no longer embarrassed by this spot, which is a big step.
Every morning when I wake up, every time I shower and every show when I take off my wig, a small amount of hair sheds.
Some days, I simply toss them into the trash as part of my routine. Some days, I stare and count the strands I've lost. There's always a pinch in my throat as I stare at them -- my breath shortens and my chest feels tighter. My brain becomes puzzled again as to why this happened to me. How could my body abandon me like this? And why me? I could question it day and night, but I realize that won't stop me from having this disease for the rest of my life.
A few have asked about the regiment I've been doing; whether I'm still gluten-free or if I think the regrowth is a direct result from my PRP treatment.
A few answers:
- I am no longer gluten-free. Traveling around Europe would be a nightmare if I optioned gluten out of my diet. I am surrounded by bakeries, fresh baked rolls for breakfast, if you are familiar with #tourlife, you understand the insurmountable problem of finding any kind of food.
- I do believe the PRP has contributed to some of my hair growth. Because I do have the bald spot still, it's tough to gauge. I'm led to believe that the treatment worked because this is the longest my hair as been in two years. So, I have Dr. Bauman to thank for that.
- Yoga, journaling and letting go. I journal as much as I can, practice yoga when possible and I let go. Letting go of anger, sadness and the need to be in control. This has led to happiness which in turn, I believe has helped my hair grow back.
- I use two different shampoos and a medical concentration prescribed by Dr. Bauman. (Pictured below). The T-Gel can be found at any CVS. I have been trying out the Numis Med that I found at a German Apotheke and have found that my scalp is less itchy.
Talking about Alopecia to other people has gotten much easier as well. Could it be because I have hair now? Maybe. Sometimes I wonder if my newfound strength comes from my new appearance or if time has helped build me up. I'm not quite sure yet. I'm going to be on this journey for quite some time. I could be bald tomorrow, actually.
I do know that I have a wonderful job performing. I'm traveling the world. I have a soulmate who loves me no matter the hair count on my head.
Another cool, eye-opening #Oprah moment is learning over and over again that I have control over my perspective. Always. For now, I choose to cherish the gift of growth. It excites me. It makes me giddy. I choose to embrace this stage of my life and will cope when the next season comes. My hair does not define me, but damn does it feel good to have again. Even for a day.
For those who have followed me alongside this journey, thank you. Whether you are one of my closest friends or someone simply catching a glimpse through my blog/vlogs, I really appreciate the support.
Plus, now I have the raddest headband collection. Ever.
Hair today, gone tomorrow. Please, stay tuned for blog two - Hair das Musical.