Saturday, June 9, 2012

What happens now?

I am well aware when the world gives you gifts of realization and when it pounds you with problems that you need to figure out on your own and trip through yourself.

What happens when you encounter a big problem that you've never had before? And the only possible solution to it: time.

Time doesn't seem like it's enough of an answer for the problem I have. My heart is reluctantly meeting forehead to forehead with the hands of time, and wants to get into a mean fight, kinda like Celebrity Death Match, remember that?

The past few days seemed like a huge test. The questions seemed to go like:

1) How much patience do you have?
2) Are you going to be okay? Or will you just be "okay".
3) Is this worth it?
4) What are you worth?
5) What happens now?

I kept replaying these five questions in my head over and over and over until I felt numb. I didn't have answers. I couldn't even think straight.

I know this post is really general, and has no specifics, and what's the point of blogging sometimes, if you can't be truly honest about situations that are happening in your life? Well, I need some type of integrity and some sort of filter. Otherwise, there's nothing left for myself to cherish. But writing those questions out helps. And keeping my blog current and up-to-date is a goal I've set for the past two years, so I'm trying.

I try to think, in the grand scheme of life, my problems are minute. My issues can dissolve with communication and honesty to myself. And I am able to take some sort of control over it and manage it. Other people with bigger issues might not be as lucky as me. Their issues may take a mass of population to try and conduct change. There may not be any solution at all. So, I'm a little lucky that I can complain to the internet and hope that anybody who may follow this blog can give me a little advice.

Well, guess I'll just have to wait.

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