Friday, February 24, 2012

Back in California.

I'm back home in California for a week. Mostly for this one huge audition, but also to visit my mom and spend time with my family and friends.

It was 80 degrees. 80! Degrees! My car was just as comfy as I left it, and in a 24 hour period, I was in San Diego, Orange County and now Hollywood. My mom's food was even more delicious and free laundry at Sabrina's isn't too bad either. (just kidding girl, you were the best part of being in LA).

It was absolutely comforting. And I definitely missed everything about all that I've done in just one day. But this is one of the reasons I left California. I know all of the studios, and freeways. Driving to OC for an audition was a piece of cake. I grew up here in SoCal and so much of it feels so good stepping out of Laguardia, and back into Lindbergh Field, San Diego International Airport.

I figured out one thing slash few.

I hate walking.
I hate snow.
I hate walking in the snow.
I hate walking in the rain.
I hate rude ass fucking people. Just rude!
I hate looking at stabbings on the subway. (Yes. I did.)
I hate the price of Starbucks in New York. (fuck inflation)
I also hate Dunkin Donuts. I've tried so many times to like it, but it's just not good.

But I moved to make myself uncomfortable.
I want to push myself. And that list up there? Is PUSHING me.

Those issues sound so minute, and straight up ridiculous. But those are the things that I have noticed within the past 3 weeks of living there that bother me. And of course, growing up on the West Coast has spoiled me fucking rotten.

I moved to make myself uncomfortable. To not soak up the sun at my convenience, but to appreciate it when New York is blessed with the warmth. I moved to not be able to drive comfortably in my car, trash it with my multiple dress choices/tons of outfits to choose from to go to ONE audition every three weeks, versus managing my packing skills, and being able to audition 4-5 times a week. Yes, I fucking hate to walk. But there are millions, in fact, billions of people who have never even owned cars before, but are thankful to have a place to walk from and to, and fuck, just even thankful to have limbs. I moved to have a different start on a different year. To learn new things. Like how to appreciate the beautiful snow, and the satisfaction of walking and listening to music and having the knowledge of knowing I can get to the heart of New York City within minutes.

And I don't hate living in New York by any means. Don't get it twisted. I enjoy my sick ass apartment very much, and am so proud of myself for doing it. I actually love to audition there. But I've noticed so many differences in living styles alone between coasts that I just had to reflect on those things that bothered me, and kind of try to analyze them. And figure out that soon enough, New York will become like home to me, of course, with time.

I cannot wait until those "hates" transform into "likes". And I am just oozing with anticipation for the day that the "likes" become "loves".

They will. Mark my words.

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