Damned if I do?

Brief intermission.

Damnit. Here's the thing. Here's the effing thing.

I've been focusing on day by day things, like, getting through the day (obviously) working, visiting my family, and the crazy bitch inside of me, is knocking, puncturing my insides trying to get back through the film of my walls that I built to protect the inside. She's trying to escape and trying to plan the future again. Planning, anticipating, worrying a little bit. Questioning, doubting maybe a little? BUT being hopeful and maybe possibly, doing what I promised myself I wouldn't do. Those nails are scraping every which way, finding a way to breathe.

This is silly. Ridiculous even, right? Or the complete opposite?

What if this shit is staring at me in the damn face.

*Turns Grey's Anatomy back on.*